The perfect programming language

I've been doing a lot of programming lately, and in a multitude of different languages. For the most part, these are pretty "decent" languages: C, Python, Ruby, etc. However, none of the languages really makes me happy.

It's hard to define exactly what I mean by "happy". They're all, for the most part, fun to program in to various degrees. But I don't really feel like I have all of the power at my fingertips in any of them. For example:

Python is used for general purpose whatever. It's powerful, easy to read, easy to write, and fast.
C is used for speed. When I need to be screaming down the highway, I break down and code in C (perhaps callable in a higher-level language).
Ruby is used for much of my web development.

I don't really find Python that well-suited for web development, although I use it that way quite often, just as much as I find Ruby to be a bit odd at general purpose computing (say, doing a Project Euler problem). And I don't really break out the C unless I have to. It makes a two-week-long Python program turn into a three-month adventure in passing structs around.

Some people have commented that maybe what I need is C++, especially with the Boost libraries. It's not as easy as Python, but not as ridiculous as C all the time. And they may be right, but I'm not quite sold yet.

The primary reason for my displeasure with C++ is primarily two things. First, it's syntax is stuck back in 1969. Why do we need so many braces, so many semi-colons? The overused and overloaded &, *, ^, etc. operators really bother me, as they make things just so terse and ugly. I mean, if I wanted to see a statement that looked like line noise, I'd use Perl or APL.

Second, related to the above, C++ is extremely powerful and large, and it takes a long time to master. I don't believe that languages should take a long time to master.

Which brings me to Ruby. Ruby is not quite as bad as C++ in the long time to master, though it's still a far cry from Python. And Ruby is almost what I need (I think it has some of the best syntax of any language ever), but it's still not quite there.

Ruby is slow. I can't really compile it, and it has so many language features that really bog it down, not all of which I feel are necessary (see next bullet).
Ruby is weird. Most people who have been exposed to OOP know what a class variable and an instance variable is, but what the hell is a class instance variable? Reading through The Ruby Programming Language (which is a great book, btw), Ruby has a lot of really complicated things going on when doing variable and method name resolution involved with the myriad of different ways things are inherited. It bothers me a lot.
Ruby makes it worse by attempting to explicitly declare the scope of a variable with var, $var, @var, @@var. Often, this just makes things worse.

So, Ruby isn't quite there.

Python? Well, it's much faster (an order of magnitude or thereabouts). It doesn't have a lot of weird inheritance issues (only some).

My biggest problem is the direction that Python is taking with Python 3.0. Changing map() and friends to return iterators? Making print a function? Further confusing me regard to text vs. unicode vs. data vs. bytes vs. strings vs. regular expressions? And so forth.

And even syntactically there are problems: Why are there colons at the end of def/if/for/... statements? And is it really necessary to have syntactically important whitespace? I don't mind it, but a lot of people hate this with a passion.

So, what I need is a language that can be compiled (and run at great speeds), with Ruby-like syntax, and a Python-like typing and object model.

That would be nice, thank you.

And yes, if I get some time, I might consider forking a project related to one of the above to get what I want.